


Sudden Darkness

by Klauinax



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Baltimore Crabs (Blaseball Team)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klauinax/pseuds/Klauinax
Summary: An insurmountable foeor: what
Kudos: 9





	Sudden Darkness

"Kennedy?"

The voice was worried, but Kennedy Loser was tired, and a little bewildered. "Breathe, Podcast. Pedro, you got lights on that rig?"

The absence of a vocal answer is mildly concerning for a half-second, before a series of lights along the outside of Pedro's shell snap on, immediately getting a few displeased squeaks and flustered noises from people who were looking directly at him. The beams of light bring vision to the dark place, though what it reveals is no better than the darkness for answers.

Surrounding them entirely was, in fact, a giant red wall.

Tot's the first to say something about it, a quizzical cock of the head and flick of the ear before "Well. That's new."

"Y'think, Tot?" Brock pinches the bridge of his nose hard enough to grind some dust loose.

"Okay, everyone calm down. It looks like it isn't dug into the ground let's just, go pick it up." Kennedy steps forwards and squats to get his fingers under the lip of the wall, before being joined by Brock, Forrest, and Pedro. After a quick count down, they strain at lifting the strange wall, only for nothing to happen besides grunts and the mechanical whine of motors.

"Yep! Okay, That ain't comin' up! Parker, can you like, do a thing? Get outside of this?"

"I apologize, Kennedy. There's something about this barrier that is keeping me inside of it. It is quite uncomfortable."

"New plan, start digging people!" At the command of the team captain, many of the Crabs settle down and begin simply trying to tunnel their way out from the mysterious thing keeping them captive. Forrest runs rapidly in circles, wearing the ground under him away. Tot digs much as he would in nature, Silvaire draws her pistols and begins blowing chunks of dirt away with lead, and Squid Galvanic looks upwards. "Guys, are we stuck in a giant freaking bucket?"

"Language, Squid. But yeah. One of our greatest enemies. Buckets. Really does a number on Crabs." Kennedy's dad-voice cuts through the noise of work and gunshots, and Squid turns to look at the gathered team. "What."

Jacoby lowers their hand from their ear, a signal to anyone paying attention that they are no longer listening to something over the internet, and nods. "Well fans, I can confirm that the Baltimore Crabs have absolutely been trapped inside of a giant red plastic bucket! This would be slightly more amusing if I wasn't also trapped inside! Luckily, there's a while before any games start up, so we have some time to figure this out!"

"This is stupid. All of this is stupid." Squid crosses her arms and glares balefully at the plastic barrier. "How the hell did we win four championships to get done in by a freaking bucket, of all things?"

"Squid, Language come on. Think about if the squidlets were here."

"Don't bring my kids into this Ken. At least they know how to pick up a bucket."

"Sure, they might be able to, but you're a Crab now, Squid. You can't do it just like all the rest of us can't."

"Wh- Tha- Kennedy Loser that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and I have children." Squid takes her turn at the wall now, squatting to set her hands under the lip and heaving mightily!

To no noticeable affect.

Falling back into a sitting position, Squid looks incredulously at her own hands. "What."

The Crabs, who had paused their work to watch, all nod solemnly.

Suddenly, the red veil lifts to the collective befuddlement of all present Crabs, who turn to see the culprit. Logan Horseman stands, lifting the edge of the bucket from outside with one hand and holding a virgin pina colada in the other. "Hey guys! We havin' fun in here?"

The first sound anyone could make in reply was a collective, time wide "What."


End file.
